Blogging

So right now I have the perfect time to blog. I have nothing I need to do, Zechariah is sleeping and Eric is running. But I have nothing to say. Annoying. Whenever I'm busy I have all these awesome blogs in my head but never the time to type them. Oh well. At least I'm typing something so I don't get out of the habit :) Well, I'll say this... I'm super incredibly excited to meet this little baby in a couple months and it'll be awesome. I guess that's all.

Worship

I love worshiping Jesus. More than anything else. It is so intense and intimate and freeing and I love it more than I can tell you. I love being so close to Him and knowing how loved I am. It's amazing how things happen for me during worship too. As I start to focus on Him and how He loves me, other things start to slip away. My guilt and shame are dissipated, my frustration and anger melt, my hurt and pain ease... and all of the sudden I'm just completely at peace and physically feel the love of Christ washing over me. If you've never felt these things during worship, I would encourage you to try something new. Maybe it's at home alone, maybe in a different worship setting, maybe just letting your shield down so God can touch your heart. For me it was being in a place where I can worship freely without judgement or fear. A place where I could be myself and just focus on God and not the people around me, the pastor, the building, or my own thoughts. I feel comfortable to just search out the face of Jesus and allow His spirit to pour into me. It's a beautiful thing.

If this sounds silly or "over the top" for you, I just want you to think about this for a moment:

Jesus sacrificed EVERYTHING for you.
Do you think He did that so you could clock in for an hour on a Sunday morning, toss up a quick prayer before meals and when things are bad, and be a "good person"?
NO! He desires intimacy and relationship with you. He thinks you are amazing. Everything about you is beautiful to Him. In His grace and mercy you are perfect and that's what He sees in you. Don't hold back from Him. His love is beautiful. It's scary when you've not experienced it before but once you do it is the best thing in the whole world. He wants you so bad. Whatever you've been holding back from Him, give up. Whatever needs to be gone so you can focus on Him, get rid of. Nothing is worth it if it's holding you back from REAL relationship and fellowship with your Father. Please let Him love you. You won't ever be able to turn back.

Great Saturday

So Saturdays aren't usually my favorite. Eric works a lot of the time on Saturdays and it always makes me sad that my husband isn't at home to enjoy and everyone else's are. (Not really, I know, but it seems like it). So today I decided that it was going to be a fun Saturday none-the-less. Zechariah woke up a little cranky and I was pretty tired and had a leftover headache from yesterday so I just knew that if we stayed home we'd end up miserable. So here's our day:

I skipped a shower and we were out the door by 8/8:30.

We went to the Rochester farmer's market where Anna was working. We walked around, bought some baked goods from the Breadwinner, some coffee and some produce.

Then we walked up to downtown Rochester on an endeavor to find Zechariah some shoes. To no avail. Even the expensive baby store didn't have any! But oh well. We walked a lot and enjoyed the beautiful, cool fall weather.

Then we got in a fender bender with a very polite, apologetic 17 year old boy. He was so polite that the interaction actually brightened up my day a little!

Then we went to Eric's work and brought him some yummy market food which he was very excited about. Then we told him we were in a fender bender which he was slightly less excited about. Then we came home.

Then Zechariah and I played outside for an hour and a half or so. He played and threw rocks and sticks and I weeded and cleaned up the some of the gardens for fall. It was great.

Then we went for a walk on the sidewalk (he LOVES walking on the sidewalk) to the tool rental place around the block to see if they rent out lawn rollers. They don't but Zechariah had fun. They had a counter that flipped up and Zechariah walked right under it and hung out with the guy back there for a while looking at cars and stuff. Zechariah felt very cool and was even offered a job :)

Then it was time to come home and Zechariah had a yummy lunch of organic macaroni and cheese and milk.

Now he's in bed taking a nap and I will be too when I'm done with this post.

I love having wonderful mommy/baby days. Not every day is like this but I love the ones that are. I love seeing my little guy learn and have fun. And his new word today is stick. It's very cute :)

Reading...

So Eric was gone all day and evening today (pooey) so I had a lot of time alone. Near the end of the evening I grabbed my Bible and started reading. I read 2 Corinthians 4-7 mainly. Here are a few favorite things:

Treasures in jars of clay: I love how that is said. A jar of clay is nothing fancy. At all. In fact, a long time ago, that's what people would put valuables in to hide them because no one would suspect it. (Like hiding your money in the flour cannister). So we are the jars of clay. Nothing fancy. God's truth is the treasure. The Bible says "For we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." I just love it. That's how we can know it's from God. Because we are not good enough for it. Awesomeness.

I also love 4:8-9. A lot. It's so beautiful and descriptive of our Christian walk. "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." I just love that. Those times shape us so much but God doesn't let it take us too far. Nothing is beyond His grace. I love this. It's so strengthening.

And 5:13. I LOVE THIS! "If we are out of our mind it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you." I adore that. God certainly does not call us to be carnal in our decisions or logical, rational or in our right mind. That makes life so exciting. I think I'm good with being out of my mind for the sake of God. He's so awesome. I am crazy for Him.

2 Corinthians 6:3-13... Go read it right now. It's amazing. I can't really even talk about it.

I love when his eyes twinkle.

And they do that a lot. I completely melt inside. I love it. When he sees something cool that he hasn't seen before his eyes start to twinkle and he says "Woah" or "Wow" in this quiet, mesmerized kind of voice. It's completely endearing and I love it more than I can tell you. I become a big pile of mush inside. It's amazing. It's just that look of joy and newness in his eyes and I can't even look at anything else. My son is amazing. Completely amazing. He is sweet. I want you to know that so much. I love rocking his sweet little self to sleep. I love snuggling with him. I love when he lays his head on my chest and I know I'm his mama and he loves me. I love when he runs to me and climbes on my lap or runs into my arms for an embrace. I love that he lets me kiss his perfect little lips about a million times a day. I love stroking his hair. I love his soft little feet. I love that child. Unfortunately love is just not a big enough word for him and I.

I think I'm a movie star

So my husband is hilarious. We have a ton of fun and when we're alone our conversations are nothing less than completely entertaining. It's amazing how often I feel like whatever just happened could have totally been a scene in a movie. But no one saw it! I almost feel bad hogging all the humor! But you can't really retell something so spontaneous. It loses so much. Honestly though, Eric is one of the funniest people I know. I love it. I love my movie life. I'm thinking romantic comedy with some dramatic scenes. But really. He makes my life that entertaining. I love my husband.

Missing someone...

So every once in a while I feel like saying, "I miss (so and so)..." The thing is, my mind starts the sentence and can't figure out who I'm missing. The unfinished sentence just sort of hangs there in my mind. It's not that there aren't people to miss. I have friends and family but as I slide each of their names in the slot I realize that none of them complete the sentence. As I think about having them with me right now, I realize that none of them will fill that "missing" part of me. And so the search in my mind continues. As I think on, I realize that the One I am missing is the One I so often avoid (perhaps not always consciously but I avoid Him none-the-less). The One whose name fills the blank is the One who never leaves me empty. He's the One who always fills me and quenches my soul's thirst. The One who I am missing is God. And I know He's the One I'm missing because He's the only One who can make me feel whole. He makes me feel beautiful, redeemed and treasured. He's the One who can change all the bad in me. He makes me a beautiful person. He gives me purpose, direction and joy. He doesn't care who I was or what I've done. He doesn't stay offended with me when I give Him reason for offense. He doesn't judge me when I make bad choices. He doesn't hold my defects against me or stop drowning me in His love. "I miss God." I miss our precious time together and what happens to me when I'm with Him. I love Him and He loves me. And that won't change.

Now to go find Him for a while... After all, He is always available.

I'm Back (Again)

So I'm not very good at this blog thing but I like that that's OK. Apparently a lot of people aren't good at it because when I read their blogs there are always a few "Back Again" blogs. It's kind of funny. But I digress. I'm back again. I hope to stay back for a while this time and if this pregnancy insomnia phase lasts, I'm sure I will have no problem blogging until the baby comes. :)

Oh yeah... In case you read my blog and don't know me (highly unlikely), we're having another baby! I'm really excited but also very nervous as having a child is sort of a big deal. I'm due in November. I say November because my two due dates so far are November 6 and November 24. We shall see.

Another neat thing in my life is that my amazing husband is training for the Detroit marathon on October 17. Mark it on your calendars and feel free to come watch or sit at home and pray for him that day. I didn't really know anything about running before all of this (a little bit from my sister and dad being runners and me having a little stint a while back but all in all, not really anything) but I am learning a lot. Lessons so far:
A marathon is a big deal
Like a really big deal
When you run really far, you sweat
Like a lot
And eat
Like a lot
It's really neat and I think my husband is a total stud for doing it. It's a lot of time and dedication. He won't run anything less than 4 miles until the marathon and his long runs are getting really long (he ran 15 miles on Sunday and this Sunday is running 16). I'm really happy about all this :)

So this part is mainly for Emily... I am going to blog about Zechariah. Paragraphs are hard to write about him though so I'm not going to try.

His favorite things:
Balls
Sticks
Rocks
Water
Fruit
Cars
Trucks

He's not good at counting but he does say "two".

Things he doesn't neccessarily care about:
Talking
Sitting still
Flowers
Most foods

Things he does not like a bit:
Diaper changes
Many foods
Getting clean any time

Favorite things to do:
Hit
Throw (EVERYTHING!)
Kick
Roar
Make anyone and everyone laugh
Wave
Kiss his mama

He does a lot of animal sounds. Our favorite is the kitty because he has the cutest, sweetest little meow ever. The bunny is cute because he scrunches up his nose and sniffs like a bunny. :)

He's the biggest cheeseball I've ever met. That kid is a serious ham. If you laugh, he will not stop. I love it.

He knows that white trucks mean dad is home. So every time a white truck drives by he says "Dad!" over and over again for a few minutes.

When he shows you his teeth he chomps them, he loves showing you his tongue, and when you ask him where his ears are he pulls them out as far as he can. It's hysterical. Oh yeah, and it's the cutest thing ever when he shows you his hands. And if he's standing when I ask him to show me his feet, he just comes and gets mine because he can't figure out how to show me his own.

Elmo is "baby". We try hard but to no avail. Elmo is definitely "baby".

If I turn on the TV he goes right away to sit on the chair. (Otherwise he stands like a foot away from the TV and I don't like that at all).

He's NEVER clean after we've been outside. Typically he requires a bath. He plays with the dirt every time and it seems like somehow he always finds water too. (Which makes mud).

After bath/pj time he sits on my lap in the rocking chair and we drink milk, praise Jesus and pray together. When we praise Jesus he raises his hands up and when we pray he folds them (or if he's really tired he just lays his head on my chest). It's 100% my favorite time of day and when you come I'll share and let you do all that with him. We giggle like crazy and usually call daddy back into the room at least a few times because Zechariah's being so cute he just HAS to see him! We rock, snuggle, hug and kiss like crazy. It's amazing. I can't wait for you to be able to do it. You'll cry hard. I promise.

I could go on and on and on (oh wait... I already did) but I will refrain from continuing. Hopefully now I will be tired enough to sleep.

Healing

So. I just wanted to say that I'm thankful my God is The Healer.
I needed healing and I got it.
God can heal physical, emotional, spiritual, mental or any other type of problem.
I always knew He COULD but now I know He DOES.
The neat thing I'm learning is that God desires ultimate healing. He doesn't desire pain or bondage for His people and I think that's pretty awesome.
I know God still has more healing to do in me. And I know that God can heal instantly. Now I just need to stop putting on the brakes, stop desiring the bongage of my strongholds and stop doubting that He can or WILL heal me.
Then my God can look at me and say "Take heart daughter, your faith has healed you".

Halleluiah.

Messy

I love feeding Zechariah.
It's super sweet.
Today for his after nap snack he had 1 1/2 peanut butter sandwiches, a banana and a sippy cup of milk.
Seeing a 14 month old eat a peanut butter sandwich is a messy thing.
But I love it.
I love that when I give him half of a banana he starts eating it but when I put down the other half he sets down the first one and picks up the other one. Just in case it tastes better.
I love that he's messy.

OK... It's been awhile but I'm back.

So here's what's new:

Eric is running a marathon in October. What a stud!

We're having another baby around November 6!

Zechariah is amazing and stubborn and beautiful and the sweetest thing ever.

I can't stop thinking about my garden.

And God is so so so merciful and loving (if you don't know Him, say "hi"... He loves talking with His children).

Last night Eric came home and asked what I saw going on for the evening. I rattled off my list of things we could be all productive and do around the house. He sighed and said he had something different in mind. Productive me refrained from an eye-roll. He said he wanted me to go get my nails done with a gc Zechariah gave me for Christmas that I haven't gotten around to using, then go shopping (grocery shopping but that's my retreat - I LOVE it!) and come back home. I had a wonderful time. The lady at the nail place even gave me a hand massage. (Thanks lady at the nail place! That was wonderful!) I bought lots of fruits and vegetables and nothing unhealthy and it was great. When I came home Eric had Zechariah clean and ready for bed, the living room clean and dinner made. What a sweet guy! Then after dinner he gave me a boquet of roses. I'm so thankful. My husband rocks my socks off.