Grocery Store Evangelist

Evangelist

Long story but REALLY good one!

So… Money has been a little tight around here lately. And by tight I mean REALLY tight. Anyway, we needed groceries. We’re trying to commit to a healthy lifestyle and just swinging it on the beans and pasta that’s sitting around isn’t quite what we had pictured. I had made a meal plan and coinciding grocery list. Eric paid bills and looked at what money was left. My grocery list included lots of fresh produce, diapers and wipes, salmon, two different kinds of fancy flour, and lots of other stuff. Eric’s budget for groceries consisted of ninety dollars. Yes. $90.00. Sigh. Obviously not enough. SO. What was a girl to do? Take stuff off the list? Nah.

Eric and I decided to pray. We set our grocery list on the counter with the money on top of it and prayed. We told the money that in the name of Jesus Christ it would buy all of our groceries. We put our hands on it and told it that it needed to submit to us because of the authority that Jesus Christ has given us in His name. This is all a little new for us but we know that in the Bible we need to believe, confess, then receive. We need to engage our faith and declare the miracle. OK. Done and done. Both the faith part and the speaking part were difficult. I always asked God for things but never told things what to do in the name of Jesus Christ. So I didn’t ask. I told. I believed that it was God’s will for us to buy those groceries and I believed that God wanted to show how awesome He is by working a miracle for us. We prayed and I went to the grocery store armed with list and calculator.

I started shopping and was pretty pumped when I got through most of the produce and the numbers hadn’t gotten too huge. I fought off discouragement as I shopped more and saw the numbers jumping. Fast. At one point I was walking through the liquor aisle and saw a guy and a girl (maybe boyfriend and girlfriend but I don’t know). They had a frozen pizza and chips and were buying liquor. I thought for a second while watching them and realized that I’m so glad I’m not there anymore. (This is by no means judging their purchases… I have purchased all of those things in the last several months or so). I’m just glad. I love where my life is and the journey from the broken girl that I once was to the healed woman that I am today. Not that I have already achieved the goal but I’m walking with the Holy Spirit now and it’s incredible. I just reflected. Not really about them but just about me. I kept walking. The Holy Spirit practically yanked my head around to look at them again and I whispered ‘Jesus loves you.’ under my breath in their direction. ‘Cause that’s good enough right? Oh boy. I knew what was coming. They turned the opposite corner and I cruised up the other end of the store to talk to them. But I was really hoping they’d just vaporize or something so I didn’t actually have to talk to them. (Nice Nicole… Believing for a miracle but you don’t even want to tell someone that Jesus loves them?) So I saw them up front in produce and started in their direction. I felt like God wanted me to tell the guy the message but didn’t feel like it was for the girl. I figured I’d just say it to both of them. As I got closer the girl walked away to another area to get something else. Sigh. OK. “Um, excuse me?” “Yeah?” “Uh, well… Um, I know this sounds crazy but, um, like, well… (face gets progressively hotter and redder throughout entire conversation) I was shopping and praying and like, God told me that He wanted me to tell you something that He had to say to you and, um, He, like, wanted me to tell you that He loves you very much and that whatever you’re going through right now, you’re safe and you’re going to be OK. Whatever that means for you. So, um, well, I hope that meant something.” (genuinely) “Thank you.” “Yeah, uh…, bye.” (get away as fast as possible). O boy.

I keep shopping and putting all the stuff from my list in my cart. Applesauce wasn’t on my list but I grabbed it anyway. At one point I hit equals and not the addition sign and lost my calculator total. I guessed where I was but didn’t really know. And I didn’t have a price for my zucchini. And it still looked like I was going over. But I kept faith and didn’t think about what I would put back if I went over. At the checkout I saved the applesauce for last. I didn’t have enough for the applesauce. I got EVERYTHING on my list for $88.81. That’s $1.19 to spare. A dollar and nineteen cents. A dollar and nineteen cents to spare. And I got everything on the list and even organic fruits and milk and jam. And I got the $4 tortilla wraps I like. And salmon. God did a miracle for me and He deserved at the very least a shout out. So as I was paying I told the clerk and the lady behind me in line that money has been tight and we prayed over our money and I could only spend $90 and I hit $88.81 and the lady said good job and I said I didn’t do it, God did. We prayed and it happened. The guy didn’t seem to be a Christian and sort of poo-pooed it. He said you got some fish and bread. You didn’t think you could get a loaf of bread and some fish for ninety bucks? I left the store praising Jesus and in my car realized what the cashier had said. A loaf of bread and some fish. Jesus sorta has a history going with the bread and fish miracles. I hadn’t even mentioned the bread to that guy. That’s just what he saw. Praise the Lord. My God is mighty and awesome. He cares about my groceries. He cares about that cashier. He cares about you. He cares about the details of our lives. Every ninety dollar detail.

Grocery store evangelist? I never would have thought so but maybe that is my mission field. Recently I’ve been praying that God would start to provide the finances and put people in front of me at the grocery store who need their groceries paid for. I guess God really does care that even this busy stay at home mom gets to share her love for Jesus.

The New Year

Goodbye 2010. Hello 2011.

Hmmm... I'm not really a big "New Year's" person. I don't get into it that much. New Year's Eve is fun and all but I could take it or leave it. Tonight, however, feels a little different. We didn't really do anything that big tonight. It's not really much different than any other year. But this NYE I'm a bit more down than normal. My feelings are a little hurt and I'm sorta bummed out. Things didn't quite go how I planned and I'm kinda disappointed. Different things and situations just worked together to really get at me and I feel like tonight I should be having a blast. I know I'm being ridiculous but I feel like this is setting a precident for my year or something. *Sigh* I know I'm taking the risk of sounding very "emo" right now but I don't really care that much. Hmm... Well I'm going to get over this and make a decision that in 2011 I will find joy. I'll be thankful and excited and forgiving. I WILL do it. I have much to be thankful for and a good God that loves me more than I could ever fathom. Life is good. Now to get over myself and find a smile...

Blogging

So right now I have the perfect time to blog. I have nothing I need to do, Zechariah is sleeping and Eric is running. But I have nothing to say. Annoying. Whenever I'm busy I have all these awesome blogs in my head but never the time to type them. Oh well. At least I'm typing something so I don't get out of the habit :) Well, I'll say this... I'm super incredibly excited to meet this little baby in a couple months and it'll be awesome. I guess that's all.

Worship

I love worshiping Jesus. More than anything else. It is so intense and intimate and freeing and I love it more than I can tell you. I love being so close to Him and knowing how loved I am. It's amazing how things happen for me during worship too. As I start to focus on Him and how He loves me, other things start to slip away. My guilt and shame are dissipated, my frustration and anger melt, my hurt and pain ease... and all of the sudden I'm just completely at peace and physically feel the love of Christ washing over me. If you've never felt these things during worship, I would encourage you to try something new. Maybe it's at home alone, maybe in a different worship setting, maybe just letting your shield down so God can touch your heart. For me it was being in a place where I can worship freely without judgement or fear. A place where I could be myself and just focus on God and not the people around me, the pastor, the building, or my own thoughts. I feel comfortable to just search out the face of Jesus and allow His spirit to pour into me. It's a beautiful thing.

If this sounds silly or "over the top" for you, I just want you to think about this for a moment:

Jesus sacrificed EVERYTHING for you.
Do you think He did that so you could clock in for an hour on a Sunday morning, toss up a quick prayer before meals and when things are bad, and be a "good person"?
NO! He desires intimacy and relationship with you. He thinks you are amazing. Everything about you is beautiful to Him. In His grace and mercy you are perfect and that's what He sees in you. Don't hold back from Him. His love is beautiful. It's scary when you've not experienced it before but once you do it is the best thing in the whole world. He wants you so bad. Whatever you've been holding back from Him, give up. Whatever needs to be gone so you can focus on Him, get rid of. Nothing is worth it if it's holding you back from REAL relationship and fellowship with your Father. Please let Him love you. You won't ever be able to turn back.

Great Saturday

So Saturdays aren't usually my favorite. Eric works a lot of the time on Saturdays and it always makes me sad that my husband isn't at home to enjoy and everyone else's are. (Not really, I know, but it seems like it). So today I decided that it was going to be a fun Saturday none-the-less. Zechariah woke up a little cranky and I was pretty tired and had a leftover headache from yesterday so I just knew that if we stayed home we'd end up miserable. So here's our day:

I skipped a shower and we were out the door by 8/8:30.

We went to the Rochester farmer's market where Anna was working. We walked around, bought some baked goods from the Breadwinner, some coffee and some produce.

Then we walked up to downtown Rochester on an endeavor to find Zechariah some shoes. To no avail. Even the expensive baby store didn't have any! But oh well. We walked a lot and enjoyed the beautiful, cool fall weather.

Then we got in a fender bender with a very polite, apologetic 17 year old boy. He was so polite that the interaction actually brightened up my day a little!

Then we went to Eric's work and brought him some yummy market food which he was very excited about. Then we told him we were in a fender bender which he was slightly less excited about. Then we came home.

Then Zechariah and I played outside for an hour and a half or so. He played and threw rocks and sticks and I weeded and cleaned up the some of the gardens for fall. It was great.

Then we went for a walk on the sidewalk (he LOVES walking on the sidewalk) to the tool rental place around the block to see if they rent out lawn rollers. They don't but Zechariah had fun. They had a counter that flipped up and Zechariah walked right under it and hung out with the guy back there for a while looking at cars and stuff. Zechariah felt very cool and was even offered a job :)

Then it was time to come home and Zechariah had a yummy lunch of organic macaroni and cheese and milk.

Now he's in bed taking a nap and I will be too when I'm done with this post.

I love having wonderful mommy/baby days. Not every day is like this but I love the ones that are. I love seeing my little guy learn and have fun. And his new word today is stick. It's very cute :)

Reading...

So Eric was gone all day and evening today (pooey) so I had a lot of time alone. Near the end of the evening I grabbed my Bible and started reading. I read 2 Corinthians 4-7 mainly. Here are a few favorite things:

Treasures in jars of clay: I love how that is said. A jar of clay is nothing fancy. At all. In fact, a long time ago, that's what people would put valuables in to hide them because no one would suspect it. (Like hiding your money in the flour cannister). So we are the jars of clay. Nothing fancy. God's truth is the treasure. The Bible says "For we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." I just love it. That's how we can know it's from God. Because we are not good enough for it. Awesomeness.

I also love 4:8-9. A lot. It's so beautiful and descriptive of our Christian walk. "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." I just love that. Those times shape us so much but God doesn't let it take us too far. Nothing is beyond His grace. I love this. It's so strengthening.

And 5:13. I LOVE THIS! "If we are out of our mind it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you." I adore that. God certainly does not call us to be carnal in our decisions or logical, rational or in our right mind. That makes life so exciting. I think I'm good with being out of my mind for the sake of God. He's so awesome. I am crazy for Him.

2 Corinthians 6:3-13... Go read it right now. It's amazing. I can't really even talk about it.

I love when his eyes twinkle.

And they do that a lot. I completely melt inside. I love it. When he sees something cool that he hasn't seen before his eyes start to twinkle and he says "Woah" or "Wow" in this quiet, mesmerized kind of voice. It's completely endearing and I love it more than I can tell you. I become a big pile of mush inside. It's amazing. It's just that look of joy and newness in his eyes and I can't even look at anything else. My son is amazing. Completely amazing. He is sweet. I want you to know that so much. I love rocking his sweet little self to sleep. I love snuggling with him. I love when he lays his head on my chest and I know I'm his mama and he loves me. I love when he runs to me and climbes on my lap or runs into my arms for an embrace. I love that he lets me kiss his perfect little lips about a million times a day. I love stroking his hair. I love his soft little feet. I love that child. Unfortunately love is just not a big enough word for him and I.